All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
