new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
