there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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