absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
