You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just google imaged poop.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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