I bet he comes in French.
you traded sex for a burrito?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
