You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
