he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
