I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
