Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
