Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
