Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
50% drunk capacity currently
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
