i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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