As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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