No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
