dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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