Princesses don't give blow jobs
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
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