So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize