Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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