I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.â€
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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