Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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