Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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