This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
