so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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