i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
