BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
