i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
