worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
