i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize