the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
