Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
