On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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