saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
