I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I AM VODKA MAN
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
