Me. At least after what I've been through.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Randomize
