dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
