Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
