rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's rum buckets o'clock
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
