She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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