Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think your dad took our porno
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
