Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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