I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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