Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You've changed since you got that strap on
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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