i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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