I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
