marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
