There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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