Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Randomize
