my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i came on her dog
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
this will be a night to untag.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
