Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
