He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
