i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm passing your future prison.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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