Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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