do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize