I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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