Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
