Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize