Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
